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Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. The planet is fine. } My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Theres a humorous side to every situation. [.] if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. They own, and control the corporations. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Enjoy! Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Nobody seems to care. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. The people are f***ed. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. }); window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. 383 talking about this. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). "Never argue with an idiot. Its so f***ing heroic. Aw, hes a comedian. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. gads.async = true; try { The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. You and I are not in the big club. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. It doesnt only represent the good things. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Enjoy! We think in language. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. } So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. George Carlin. George Carlin. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. Because theres no money in that problem. }()); BAM! Thats the problem. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Lets get started! "Men are from Earth,. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! We havent tried that for a while. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. And armbands. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. You don't. You have no choice. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. there's no such thing as rights. That's the problem. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. The only country that could invade America is America! This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. I have certain rules I live by. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Seems like a big waste of time to me! Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. 4. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) The planet is fine. - George Carlin profile quotes. for(var i=0; i