I put down the card that I would pick. …. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. 3 min read. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood. It is a very fine example of King Benjamin’s natural man. Elder Bednar goes on to say, “As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.”. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. Some have passed on before taking advantage of the opportunity to forgive and be forgiven. What possibly can be gained, not salvation? God has created us as agents, endowed with our own personal and moral agency, to … Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. So, yes, people can be offended. Apples to Apples is no fun and games; Apples to Apples is serious business. Though people may not intend to injure or offend us, they nonetheless can be inconsiderate and tactless. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, “it mattereth not.”. Understanding the eternal role of agency becomes critical. To Be Offended Is A Choice Posted on February 13, 2013by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. If an investigator were to read a missionary’s email that revealed their personal struggles, the investigator could choose to be offended. What could I have done differently?” We can try to understand that person’s perspective instead of judging them for being hurt or offended. Next 10 Pop Songs about Mission Life. There are those who will be offended just by reading this quote about offense, even when none was intended, and certainly none was directly said to hurt you, personally. “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. Many of the individuals and families who most need to hear this message about choosing not to be offended are probably not participating with us in conference today. I conclude my message with two invitations. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165). To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. One of my favorite activities as a priesthood leader is visiting members of the Church in their homes. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart” (Alma 61:2, 9). Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. Will you please prayerfully identify a person with whom you will visit and extend the invitation to once again worship with us? “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Can it be just anyone? When we do that, we allow them the grace that enables them to learn and grow. It’s easy to dismiss someone who feels offended as being “too sensitive” or “misunderstanding.” People commonly say, “It’s your choice to be offended”—as if that absolves the offender’s actions and puts the blame directly on the hurt individual. do not even the publicans so? This afternoon I pray that the Holy Ghost will assist me and you as we review together important gospel principles. We’ve all been offended. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Please come back—now.”. I invite you to learn about and apply the Savior’s teachings about interactions and episodes that can be construed as offensive. In Apples to Apples, it’s easy to get caught up in what we think is funny or relevant to the adjective and not consider that the other person’s perspective may be different, and Vranes points this out by emphasizing the importance of having our intentions match our impact. “But you didn’t come for the weeds. do not even the publicans the same? They’re oblivious in their actions … Because someone at church offended you, you have cut yourself off from priesthood ordinances and the holy temple. Each individual, each family, each home, and each answer was different. If it isn't wrong, why would so many people be offended … Personally, I have a pretty hard time with the concept that we choose not to be offended or hurt or insulted, etc. We make the baptismal covenant to “mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort.” Our job isn’t to judge someone who is mourning or feeling hurt by ours or another’s words, our job is to be with those individuals in that sadness, allow them that space to feel what they are feeling, and learn how we can better communicate the love that we actually intend for them. Emotions are a physical response to stimuli via chemicals and hormones. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. But as Elder Bednar said, “Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.” When we are hurt, we can choose to be constructive about how we respond to people by clearly communicating how other people impacted us. We can’t control how someone responds to our words and actions, but we can learn from those experiences so that we can do better next time. What puts a “bee in my bonnet” or a “burr under my saddle,” if you will? We expressed love and appreciation for the opportunity to be in their home. As we talked, eyes often were moist with tears as these good people recalled the confirming witness of the Holy Ghost and described their prior spiritual experiences. However, they were not presently participating in Church activities and meetings. Forgiveness. During the years I served as a stake president, I often would contact one of the bishops and invite him to prayerfully identify individuals or families we could visit together. I was hurt by the unfriendliness of this branch.”, “I did not agree with the counsel the bishop gave me. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. Strive to teach your children that life can be offensive, but they don’t have to be offended. As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. I witness the reality and divinity of a living Savior and of His power to help us avoid and overcome offense. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. I especially enjoy calling upon and talking with members who commonly are described as “less active.”. 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